Renewed desire? Renewed hope?

Praise be to God, another young couple has been blessed with an infant and another unwed young birth mother has been blessed with a Christian couple to raise her child, since she was unable to take on the responsibilities. Adoption... Such a blessing.

For those who know me, even a little, you probably know that I have wanted for years to adopt a baby. My new husband of less than two years shares that desire, and we finally got to set out on our journey to adopt. However when we got to the end of the home study phase, about three months into it, the agency we were working with could not accept us due to some financial issues. That pretty much stopped us dead in our tracks. I was very upset and wanted so badly to figure out a way to make it work, until I finally realized that this was too big for me to fix. Well, everyone lovingly kept saying that if it is meant to be, God will make a way. As a Christian, I know that, however it does not always make it easy. Through prayer, friends, family, and time, the initial hurt went away, and I started to give it all up to God, and then finally.....I gave it ALL to Him. The only thing is, sometimes I want to take it back. The reason? Not that I don't think He is not powerful enough to make it happen, but because of this. What if it is not in His master plan for me to adopt a baby? That is the part that still gets me.

These days, we have been working on our financial situation, but there is only so much you can do. In my mind, unless God blesses us with a financial windfall, I don't see the situation changing, and therefore I don't see us getting to adopt anytime soon if at all. However, my vision is limited, and God might have a totally different plan for us altogether. I am anxously awaiting to see what he has in store, and I am MOSTLY being patient about it....I won't say that I have lost hope, however, I do try to keep it more to the back of my mind most of the time.

Well, that is until certain things happen, such as last Thursday when I got to hold a 2 week old, precious baby girl with tons of black hair. Or until July 29th when another young couple at work got the call that they have been waiting on for over two years! They have been with the same agency that we started out with, and have been waiting on that call, and they finally got it. They were told that if they choose to accept it, that there was a tiny baby girl waiting for them who had just been born! Wow! I am so excited for them.......I cannot wait to see little Hannah Leanne!

Renewed desire? you bet!! Renewed hope? Well, the hope is still there......but it is so hard to hold onto some days.........I just keep praying......petitioning.........sometimes begging......and definately hoping that someday God will bless us with that call.